Marriage and (Chicken Tikka) Masala

On our second date my not-yet-husband took me to Vancouver for dinner.  He said we were going for Chinese food.  Well, kinda.  Let's just say it was "authentic" Chinese food.  There was no Sweet 'n Sour Pork or General Tso's Chicken to be found in this restaurant.  In fact, this wasn't just a date.  It was a test.  Or, some might say, a prelude to an episode of a popular TV show at the time: "Fear Factor."

Let's just say I passed.  I ate the "1000 Year Old Duck Egg" soup without so much as a gag.  He was impressed.  I soon received a lovely engagement ring to prove it!  This was over 15 years ago, and we are still going strong, brought together by a lot of common values and interests - not the least of which is food.  And, looking back, this nurturing of a common (if not fattening) interest has helped keep our marriage strong.  When our kids were little, we tried to have frequent date nights where we'd head up to Vancouver to "our" Chinese place and get more of that yummy soup.  Or we'd hit a great Indian place for Chicken Tikka Masala, or even a food cart (our latest craze) for a weird hot dog.  As the kids got older, and we were able to leave for longer periods, we started taking trips a few times a year - yes, just him and me! - to food-centric places like Portland and San Francisco, munching our way through town and enjoying every moment of it.

While at the time these felt more like escapes from the reality of family, home, and work, in hindsight I can see they have also helped to strengthen our marriage and help us retain that identity we had as a couple before our life was consumed by all-things-children.  Yes, we still take family trips (and yes, we still eat well on those too) but as I see friends around me who are struggling in their marriages I have to wonder if ours is a little stronger because we nurtured our common interest(s) while the kids were young.  I know people who have been married for years who are going through divorces, and who rarely had a date night and never took a single kid-free vacation during their entire marriage.  I think that, as a society, in our very noble and genuine effort to raise good kids a lot of people have forgotten what led to those kids in the first place: a strong, healthy relationship with their spouse or life partner.

So this blog post is in honor of date night.  If you're married and have kids, remember to re-kindle that  common interest - whether it's food or bowling or hiking or whatever - and don't let it die.

Aarti's Chicken Tikka Masala

Jeff and I love ethnic food, especially Chinese and Indian.  When I saw one of my favorite Food Network stars, Aarti Sequiera, make this recipe on her show I just knew I had to try it at home.  It's so good!  And a little tip to the parents out there: if your children don't like spicy, save a few of the grilled chicken pieces aside and serve them plain with the rice.  The kids love it!

So first I make Aarti's yummy ginger-garlic paste - I toss equal parts chopped garlic and fresh ginger into the food processor with some olive oil.  Process until smooth.

Now, combine this with plain yogurt and other spices (see Aarti's recipe) in a big bowl.  Add your chicken pieces, cover, and let marinate for at least 1/2 an hour but the longer the better.

Meanwhile, saute the onions in a big pot.  When they are nice and caramelized, add the tomato paste and then stir in the ginger-garlic paste and stir it all together into a nice sauce.

When the chicken is done marinating, grill it until nicely browned on the outside.  (It will finish cooking in the sauce.)

When it's done grilling (both sides) nestle the pieces into your big pot of sauce and let simmer.

After about 20 minutes, add the heavy cream.  (You can use regular milk too - just use a little less so the sauce doesn't get watery.)

Stir it all together until it's nice and creamy.

Now if you're really in the mood to cook you can make some homemade Naan - an Indian flatbread.  Or you can buy it frozen at Trader Joe's.  I like to serve the chicken over basmati rice and garnish it with fresh chopped cilantro and slivered almonds.  Yum yum!